Holiday #Burnout Prevention Tips

Holiday Boundary setting tips to ensure your needs are being met

The basis of ND Burnout is when our needs and sensory profile needs go consistently un-met over a long period of time.

The first step is to identify your biggest need and sensory profile need during the holiday season.  

-Are you a sensory seeker or a sensory avoider?  Do you have both sensory seeking and avoiding needs?  What is your #1 need over the holiday season?  Is it time to slow down, or do you want to spend time with a special friend where  you go look at the holiday lights?  Do you need to have your needs, wants and preferences acknowledged by someone who is important to you?

Second step, after identifying your top need and sensory need for the holiday make note of why it is important to you.  

-What does having this need met mean to you?  How does having this need met help you during the holiday?  What is possible for you when this need is met consistently?

Third step, identify how you naturally seek to get your needs met.

-Do you look outward towards others to help you meet your needs?

-Do you turn inward to figure out how to meet your own needs?

-Do you move directly ahead towards your need?

Final step, set the boundary.

Which boundary category best supports the need you identified?

-Time

-Emotional/relational

-Physical

-Mental

-Spiritual

-Sexual

-Material

If you turn outward, inward or move directly here are your starting points for boundaries…

ARTICLE: Continued.. (from social media post)

If you turn outward, inward or move directly here are your starting points for boundaries…

If you identify as someone who moves Outward or what is known as The Compliant Stance in the Enneagram this is where to begin setting a healthy holiday boundary around your needs and sensory profile needs:

Outward or compliant stance people seek to get their needs met by turning towards others.  

The core needs these stance types seek most often are approval and affirmation of their goodness, love and affection, security and stability.

Boundary Starting Point:

• Practice identifying the boundary lines between you and other people.  Pauses to ask yourself: Is this my emotion or their emotion?  Is this my choice or their choice?  Is this my responsibility or their responsibility?

If you identify as someone who turns Inward or what is known as The Withdrawn Stance in the Enneagram, this is where to begin setting a healthy holiday boundary around your needs and sensory profile needs:

Inward or Withdrawn stance people seek to get their needs met by turning inward away from others.

The core needs these stance types seek most often are to be loved and understood, to be self-reliant and autonomous, to avoid conflict and discomfort.

Boundary Starting Point:

-When you say “yes” without wanting to say “yes,” reflect on why.  Remember you have the choice to say yes, no or even maybe.

If you identify as someone who moves directly towards your needs and sometimes this means moving against others to have them met, this is known as the Assertive Stance in the Enneagram.  

Direct or Assertive Stance people seek to have their needs met in an independent style with a direct approach.

The core needs these stance types seek most often are to meet their goals and reach an achievement, to feel satisfied and move away from distraction or to secure independence.

Boundary Starting Point:

-When you find yourself preoccupied with someone else’s difficult emotions or problems, ask yourself which difficult emotions or problems you are avoiding in your own life.  Learning to stop and feel your feelings will be helpful to you in your relationships and in getting your own needs met.

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